From Casual Counseling To Professionalism
This column explores the dangers of
casually talking to someone about his or her chart, explores the
question of how we learn to practice astrology, and addresses some
issues about professionalism. It happened to me again! During the
last ISAR conference, I was casually talking with a well-known
astrologer. We were talking about the need for children to have set
rules and structures in order to develop a good sense of self. She
remarked that children with a strong natal Jupiter experience great
difficulty because they are not given the necessary boundaries to
structure a good ego. My natal Jupiter's only aspect is its
conjunction to my Ascendant. I have always considered it to be
strong, enjoyable, yet not always easy to handle. I was
particularly interested in what this astrologer had to say.
She continued by stating that her experience has shown that such children
"retire" by the age of twelve. Her words felt like a knife in my
guts! I did not know why. I did not know what it meant. But her
statement surely touched some deep pain in me. I felt that the
amount of time I have spent up to now dealing with issues around
twelve years old would have put the issues to rest! So, the depth of
this pain came as quite a surprise.
Then I proceeded to behave as I have seen so many behave in like
circumstances. Having figured out that twelve is the age of my
first Jupiter return, I offered a straight face to this astrologer,
yet showed a lot of interest, and asked what she meant by
"retiring." She explained that, by that age, the child has tried so
hard to please his parents without ever being successful at it, that
the child simply gives up. In fact, the child does not just give up
on fulfilling his parents desires, but gives up on himself. The
knife started to twist as it went deeper into my guts! I told her
how this chart description fits my natal chart. However, I did not
voice the deep pain I was experiencing.
Since I have chosen to clear my emotional baggage and have the training
to do so, I believe I have more tools to handle such a
"knife-in-the-guts" situation than the astrologer's average client.
But it is now a week later, and while I have come to a lot more
understanding about the events when I was twelve, I still feel
unfinished. I feel grateful for the sharing of the well-known
astrologer, but dealing with its impact has been an emotional
challenge.
The fact that we astrologers can
open some deep, or not so deep, wounds in another person is an old
concern of mine. I have often wondered about the dangers and the
ethics of describing what a specific chart component means to me, or
about mentioning issues I have encountered in clients with a
specific natal aspect or planetary placement. I have no way of
knowing the impact I may have on even one individual who is hearing
what I say or reading what I have written. Most delineations are
useful and help an audience get a better understanding of themselves
and their clients. However, what about the person who finds himself
suddenly faced with a repressed issue brutally exposed -- the person
who suddenly recognizes his personal background and does not know
how to cope with his new realizations?
So there is a potential danger to vulnerable individuals when we describe
to an audience, however small the issues we see in an astrological
chart. Yet, I just did it again be recounting my own experience in
the above paragraphs! As a lecturer and writer on counseling
astrology, I know that making explanatory statements about what we
see in charts is unavoidable. This is the way we communicate.
Maybe I feel overly responsible for other people. Maybe I am
overprotective. Maybe I am smart! But let's look at a different
situation.
We have all attended meetings where someone presents their chart to us
and asks us to comment on it. And, of course, many of us have
obliged! In this case we are consciously directing our comments to
a person who is eager to hear whatever we have to say. Yet we know
that it is rarely the person who is happy with the state of his life
who asks for this "casual" counseling. Most of the time, the person
seeks help about an important, sensitive issue they are trying to
deal with.
In such a social situation, the astrologer barely has the time to glance
at the chart. She does not know much, if anything, about the
person's background. If she has a lot of experience, she may pick
up information from the chart. She may pick up a few planetary
positions here and there, a few natal aspects, a few transiting
aspects, maybe some solar arc progressions. In no way can she,
during a meeting, a social event, or any similar situation, achieve
the full understanding of the person's psyche that she would with a
calm, focused study of the chart in her professional setting. In
addition, the chart is only an indication of potential strengths and
issues. The astrologer does not know the depth of the individual's
emotional wounding. I consider that in such a casual, social
setting, the chances of creating or participating in further
emotional wounding are greatly enhanced.
I see additional problems with such social situations. First, the
astrologer who is commenting on the chart is simply giving his
knowledge away. Why should this be an accepted practice when so few
of us make a living at our trade? If you need an attorney, you have
to pay, although you may get half-an-hour free consultation at
first. The same holds true for a financial consultant, a doctor, or
any other professional. Maybe astrologers need to think of standing
on a par with other professionals in this respect.
Some astrologers argue that there is a spiritual dimension to astrology
which could get lost if we took care to charge for every service. I
believe that the first rule of any spirituality is self-respect. I
believe that any spirituality which requires a person to be in a
financial bind because of too much giving away is not a spirituality
worth living. When we do professional work, we owe it to ourselves
to be paid for professional work. Only then can we truly integrate
spirituality into our work.
Second, counseling someone in a public place is neither professional nor
ethical. There is no privacy at all so that anyone around can hear
about that person's issues. This is especially true when other
people are looking at the chart and listening, hoping to learn
something new.
I consider that this common practice
can have a lot to do with the ego of the astrologer who is looking
at the chart. It feels very gratifying to have people seeking and
valuing your knowledge or opinion. However, I have learned to avoid
these casual consultations as much as possible. Whenever I do find
myself giving in to a person's request, I do my best to ask
questions, to point to specifics of the chart as areas which seem to
me to necessitate attention rather than give answers to questions or
make definitive statements.
Experienced as I am and having
worked on myself for as long as I have, I was extremely impacted by
an astrologer's remark. We know that novice astrologers "practice"
on people all the time. How much more liable are those people to be
negatively impacted by the beginning astrologer's remarks? Yet we
need to "practice" to get experience. We have all done it. We have
all looked for people willing or eager to have their chart "read"
because we needed to practice. As training in our profession stands
now, how are we to practice if not on our friends, relatives?
A medical student does not go around "dropping" diagnoses on her family
members and friends as we astrologers "drop" our chart
interpretations. A medical student practices in a specific learning
environment where she is supervised and guided in order to improve
her skills. A teacher does not face thirty or forty children for
the first time after graduating with a teaching degree. He has
already gone through supervised training and counseling by his more
experienced peers. The examples of professions that have some form
of supervised training are endless. Yet, we astrologers, who
consider ourselves members of the second oldest profession in the
world, we do not have any such supervised training. We mainly train
ourselves through trial and error on the corner of the kitchen table
or on the living room sofas of our friends. In addition, we usually
do this counseling for free which, I believe, is part of our lack of
"financial consciousness." Once one starts doing something for
free, it is very difficult to start getting paid for the same
service. It is also difficult to set a fair price, and therefore, it
is almost impossible to educate the public about to the monetary
value of our work.
Another drawback of kitchen-table counseling is that the aspiring
astrologer does not get much constructive feedback. The friend
"client" is usually ready to shower compliments when the
consultation was "right on." When the consultation is not so
accurate, however, not many friends have the desire or courage to
tell a budding astrologer that she goofed and to share this
feedback in a loving, supportive way. Our society, in general,
does not encourage us to be frank. As a result, beginners can go on
thinking they are great astrologers while they have little idea of
what they are really doing. And we want to call ourselves, and have
society call us, professional!
What is valid feedback for either the beginning or the experienced
astrologer? What type of honest feedback can we count on so that we
can look clearly at ourselves as counseling astrologers and grow to
be ever more sensitive and proficient?
Once in a while, we may have a
client who tells us that she is unhappy or who directly confront
us. I consider these clients the greatest gifts possible. I have
received negative feedback on several occasions. One occurred when
I was still an aspiring astrologer with a client who has Libra
rising. When she came for the consultation, Saturn and Pluto were
making several aspects to her natal planets. I had just been
through similar transits myself and, with my Scorpio rising, had
dived into the transformative process and come out freer than ever.
Projecting my experience on her, I "predicted" that she was going to
undergo a great transformation in the next few months and that the
experience was going to be wonderful. A few months later, I met her
at a social gathering. She immediately came to me and voiced her
feelings. She acknowledged the depth of her transformation. She
thanked me for the help I had provided her, but she let me know what
she thought of my implying she would enjoy such a transformation! I
learned!
A few weeks ago, a former client said that she had stopped working with
me because I was not respecting her view of her situation. When I
asked her to tell me more about it if she could, she said I was too
directive about how she should make the necessary changes in her
life. This was a wonderful gift. Not only was this person willing
to tell me why she had suddenly stopped coming, but she was also
willing to talk about it in detail. I was very appreciative.
When we astrologers give each other consultations, I believe it is most
important for the counselee to offer the counselor frank feedback. I
believe we should do this whether we are beginning or experienced
astrologers, and I think the feedback should include both what we
liked - what was helpful - and what we found difficult or
unhelpful. Feedback can be on the content of the consultation, as
well as its format, the setting in which it was experienced, and
the attitude and demeanor of the counselor.
We cannot prevent beginners from engaging in kitchen-table counseling.
However, if we start now to offer warm, caring structures for peer
exchanges, most beginners will realize that such a way of learning
is easier and more rewarding than having to deal with the sudden
silence of a friend or the repressed feeling of insecurity linked
to concern over "doing it right."
A peer supervision group exists in
the San Francisco Area through the Association for Astrological
Psychology for "professionals interested in the use of astrology as
a personality theory and diagnostic tool". This peer group seems to
be an extension of the type of training available throughout the
psychological community.
I believe
that the astrological community could provide such safe professional
settings where both aspiring and experienced astrologers can get
quality peer supervision, warm support, continuous training, and
guided self-evaluation.